As a toddler, my daughter adored animals. We had three cats of our own, but she loved all animals. With the exception of spiders and wild animals, Margareta always took the opportunity to hold or touch any animal she could. She loved going to petting zoos with goats and sheep, even when they were aggressively trying to get food. And whenever we saw ladybugs, she insisted on having them crawl on her. Margareta loved ladybugs so dearly, we included a picture of one on her grave marker.

Soon after her death, signs took the form of animal sightings.

A few weeks after her death at the age of four, I took her older brother to his soccer game in a neighboring town. Emotional but still very numb, I sat down on the sidelines on one end of the field away from the other parents. While the teams warmed up, I noticed a swarm of dragonflies in the air about 10 to 15 feet in front of me.

It’s important to note that I’ve always been fascinated by dragonflies, though rarely seen them in person. Until that point in my life, I’d seen less than a dozen in person and usually at a water source. As I sat transfixed by the sheer number of dragonflies so close to me, I immediately thought of my daughter and how thrilled she would have been to see them. The dragonflies stayed over the field for almost the entire game.

A few days later, I was in my home and was startled by a “knock” on the picture window next to me. I turned to see a large dragonfly had hit the glass as it was flying straight towards me. After gathering its bearings, it landed on the bottom of an outdoor light fixture to rest.

The feeling suddenly came over me that this dragonfly was my daughter “visiting” me. 

I slowly walked over and opened the door. I whispered how much I loved her and just stared. After a few minutes, I closed the door and walked away. That dragonfly stayed there for over an hour before it finally flew away.

That event was the beginning of many, many dragonfly sightings. I see both live and artistic representations of them since the death of my daughter. I know now that many people experience dragonfly sightings after the death of a loved one. Whether they are messengers from the afterlife or just a symbol of death and rebirth, the sightings are special to many people.

Almost every sighting has happened when I’ve been intensely struggling with grief or when my thoughts are focused exclusively on her.

I’ve also had similar experiences with ladybugs. Sometimes they land on or close to me when I’m intently thinking of her. Other times I will feel the need to glance somewhere specific, only to find one like a needle in a haystack in its surroundings.

For example, while on a walk with my son, he asked me out of the blue what I would do if Margareta suddenly appeared in front of us. After discussing it, I turned my head toward our neighbor’s house for no apparent reason. My gaze zeroed in on a lone ladybug upon a leaf on a tree. Without knowing where to look, it would have been easily missed.

Another time, my sister-in-law was visiting and we had been talking about my signs from Margareta. On our way to the car I felt the urge to open my mailbox even though I knew there was no mail. There, sitting on the cold metal in the dark was a ladybug under the lid.

Are these really signs from my daughter?

Could these events be my daughter channeling her energy from some other dimension to control these bugs or nudge me to look their way? Yes. Could skeptics be right and these sightings are nothing more than pure coincidence? Yes. Regardless of what anyone thinks, they mean something very special to me.

Every time I have one of these experiences, it is as if my daughter has caressed my cheeks in her little hands, kissed me on the lips, and then given me a big bear hug. They are the equivalent of hearing her sweet voice say, “I love you mama, and I’m right here with you no matter what.” I treasure these “signs” and look forward to every single one of them.