Living With Grief
Many people feel alone in their grief, not realizing that others have similar thoughts and experiences. These articles are based on personal experience and intended to provide a sense community for those experiencing grief.
A Letter to My Daughter on Her (Would Have Been) 8th Birthday
Dear Margareta, On September 1, you would have turned eight years old. It will be the fourth birthday we have to celebrate without you here to celebrate it with us. The fourth time we have to sing "Happy Birthday" while holding back the tears. After this month is...
If I Only Had a Brain
Ever since she was born, I sang songs to my daughter, Margareta. I had my short list of favorites, and would sing them usually to get her settled down to sleep, but over time I would sing to her throughout the day whenever the moment struck me. I even added my own...
The Ultimate Gift
After the death of our four-year-old daughter, we were asked to consider organ donation. This is the story of our daughter’s donations and the ultimate gift she gave a little boy.
The Stormy Beach
I thought of this story because I was talking about protecting Philip, and because of how deeply we’re affected by the vulnerability we share with our kids. Because we do share it. I might be the one who’s supposed to be doing the protecting, but look at the price I...
My Friend Forever
I met Sue when I interviewed her as a potential daycare provider for my son. She was a larger than life personality, but at the same time, gentle and loving. She had a special way with children that was clear from that very first interaction with my son. I recall her...
Just Let Me Be Sad
We live in a society so uncomfortable with emotional pain that when someone dies, the outward mourning period is expected to end once the funeral is over. When the bereaved do not cooperate with these prescribed time tables, they are often accused of “wallowing” in their grief. They are indignantly told to “move on” and “get over it”. But is suppressing grief healthy?
In the Garden
During her visit in late spring of 2009, our sister Patsy planted a wonderful vegetable garden on the side of our house with the help of our kids. We had been wanting a garden for a while, so we watered and cared for the garden in anticipation of the carrots,...
The Isolation of Grief
A few days after our daughter’s memorial service, everyone went home. We were left alone to figure out how to pick up the pieces of our shattered hearts and shattered lives. It was devastating.
Fancy Girl
We try to go to parades throughout the year, and many of them result in a collection of colorful mardi gras beads. Our daughter, Margareta, loved to wear them, as it brought out the "girly" side of her dual tomboy/girly girl personality. Not satisfied with just...
The Fear of Forgetting a Loved One
When my daughter died just after turning four years old, one of my biggest fears has been that she will be forgotten. But what does that fear actually mean? What exactly am I really scared of? And how do I combat the fear?
A Brother’s Last Memory of His Sister
The last memory I ever had of my sister, Margareta, was from the day she died. I had just gotten home from school, and I asked the usual "What's there to eat?" All my mom would give me were some left over nachos from Taco Bell, so I took them and headed to my room....
Navigating the Ebb and Flow of Grief
Even years after the death of a loved one grief can remain a constant part of your life. Grief is fickle, unpredictable, and indifferent to whatever mood you’re in. Most days grief lies dormant under the activities of everyday life., but triggers will continually remind you its there.