Living With Grief
Many people feel alone in their grief, not realizing that others have similar thoughts and experiences. These articles are based on personal experience and intended to provide a sense community for those experiencing grief.
Feeling Guilt After the Loss of a Loved One
Guilt is a powerful emotion. A combination of sadness, regret, embarrassment, shame, incompetence, failure, and more. For many who have lost someone dear to them, guilt creeps in almost immediately.
Grief and the Loss of Control
I’m not sure when I accepted that grief, in its very nature, is unpredictable and uncontrollable. But when I did finally accept it, it had an unexpected result: I felt relief.
Looking for Hope in the New Year After the Loss of a Loved One
For many, welcoming in the New Year is a celebration of optimism and hope. Many see it as a fresh start and a chance to take steps to improve both their lives and perhaps themselves. Of course, this isn’t a view shared by all. For the newly bereaved, the New Year can be an incredibly painful milestone…
Fun with Coloring
Even from a young age, Margareta could keep herself occupied for long periods of time. Whether playing with toys or using her imagination, she would often just sit intently and concentrate on whatever it was she was doing. I appreciated this time, as it allowed me to get things done…
How Are You? A Silent Signpost for the Bereaved
“How are you?” It’s such a seemingly simple, benign question. Often, those who ask the question are not doing so out of real concern, but just as a polite, meaningless pleasantry. But when are suffering from overwhelming grief, it becomes an unspoken reminder that they are expected to hide their pain from the outside world.
Real Sleeping v. Fake Sleeping
In 2010, I had crazy mornings. Getting four kids out of the house by 7:20. But we did it. I’d wake everyone up for a quick bowl of cereal in front of “Full House.” Maddie always asked for “Ciminin toast crunch, no milk” At two and half she had figured that if she skipped the milk part of the cereal…
Quiet as a Mouse
Margareta’s baby brother, Paxton – who isn’t much of a baby anymore – just started preschool this month. He is about the same age as Margareta was when she started, and he goes to the same preschool she went to. While there are many, many similarities…
Ellie’s Last Sticky Note
Six-year-old Ellie was always watching people. One day, she noticed that I was leaving encouraging sticky notes around the house for Mommy. She informed me “Daddy, where is my note?” She was irresistible! I began to write her notes and leave them where she would find them…
The Anniversary of A Loved One’s Death
Soon it will be the anniversary of my daughter’s death. Over the years, I have struggled with how to deal with this particular day. Each one, I tried something different with different results…
Her Favorite Things
“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens…” My daughter, Margareta, never got to sing this song from the Sound of Music, but my guess is that she would have loved both the song and the movie. She died before she was old...
Overcoming the Fear of Death
For much of my life I feared death. Then in 2009, I experienced something far worse than my ultimate fear. Not my own death, but the death of someone whose life was more important than my own: my child. And yet, while dealing with my grief in the aftermath, something extraordinary happened. I no longer feared death.
Cootie Crazy
Hello Little Girl, The same day Anna and I took you to the Farmer's Market in Sacramento (I don't remember if it was before or after), you and I played "Cootie". For some reason, we were in the house alone and I retrieved the game from the closet. I remember I bought...