Hi,
I lost my husband to lung cancer just two months ago. On 22nd Jan at 3.30 am. He battled with the disease for 3 years. We were married for 7 years. And together for a total of 15. Everything I know and have learnt, is from him. He was my best friend, my boy friend, my husband, my father, mother, my sister and my brother.
Losing him slowly, everyday to the disease was painful, but nothing had prepared me for losing him to death. We were prepared for the inevitable, but nothing can prepare you to live through the inevitable without your partner, who you prepared with… I miss him very single minute of the day and night.
All my memories are with him, of him and about him. From learning to e-mail, or to use the computer properly, way back in 1998. To learning to drive, traveling to different countries, eating all kinds of food. Everything.
All my conversations were always about my experiences with him and about him and us, our life, our love story, our stories. Period. Now I can either just speak about him or not at all. I have no words to talk about anything else other than him. It’s almost like I have re-learn everything, from social graces, to conversation topics, to living my life on my own. Restarting my career. Everything. And every place I visit and re-visit, for real and in my head, it’s all with him.
It’s a process I know, it don’t have an end, and neither does it have a set pattern or map that I can follow. And it is my journey and only mine, alone. I’ve never really done anything without him. But it is nevertheless, my only option. Taking it a day at a time. The only and only philosophy that has helped me so far.
May everyone find their peace, in this journey in some way or the other.
Purva
Submitted by Purva Verma Khanna in loving memory of her husband, Sachin Khanna.
This website was inspired by the memory of Margareta Sol Kubitz in hopes of helping others work through the pain of grief.
Dear Purva, my heart aches for you. I remember clearly those early weeks and months, and your words resonate deeply. While it is true that your journey of grief is your own, I think there are two universal truths to that path. First, the love between you and Sachin will support you along your journey. It will give you strength when you feel you have none. It will be your guide in re-learning how to live your life. Second, while you are on a very personal journey, you are not alone. Many have walked this path and are here to lend you support and encouragement when you need it. Thank you for sharing your story. I will be thinking of you and Sachin, and holding the two of you in my heart. Take care, Maria
Mam,
You are very lively and command respect.You inspire me as you were the first person I met when i joined the corporate world.Although we were four of them but the other two were like my college friends.It felt like goin to a college not the office.:) But you were classy sophesticated yet friendly and charming.The things you spoke and the way you spoke in the complaince meeting, gave me an idea about what corporate people are like.
I have always admired you as being formal you spoke some words to us that made me and others so comfortable,It raised our morals and gave the confidence to speak up in the meeting in front of others.I have high respect for you and i feel proud of you for being so strong. Your high spirits make me and other people who work with you stronger . Keep walking this path to brightness you will uplift the world you touch during this journey. All the best and thank you .
🙂