Quiet as a Mouse

Margareta’s baby brother, Paxton – who isn’t much of a baby anymore – just started preschool this month. He is about the same age as Margareta was when she started, and he goes to the same preschool she went to. While there are many, many similarities between Margareta and the brother she never met, there are some very distinct differences. Paxton is a very outgoing kid. He often says “Hi” to strangers he sees in the store or on the street. He often introduces himself to other kids on the playground in an effort to play with them. He rarely acts shy. Margareta, on the other hand, was very choosy who she let see her talkative, vibrant side.

While she was loud and boisterous with her family and close friends, strangers would have to earn her trust before they were allowed to see that side of her. Often, she would meet new kids at her brothers’ baseball or soccer games and shadow them quietly, waiting for the right time to inject herself into their play. She would charm adults with her sparkling eyes and coy smiles, but rarely open her mouth around them. And yet, if she were interested in something they had (snacks, shade on a hot day…), she would inevitably, silently get it from them like a snake charmer.

This shy, quiet side of her seemed to be amplified when she first started preschool at the age of three. The first day I dropped her off, she was fine. No tears. She was happy to be there. But on the second day, she saw another girl crying when her dad dropped her off and it occurred to Margareta that she was supposed to do that too. It then took a few weeks – and bribes of chocolate – to get her to stop crying when being dropped off.

About a month after she started, we received an invitation to a classmate’s birthday party. I thought it was a good opportunity to meet some of her classmates and their parents, so Margareta, a couple of her brothers and I went. It was at a local park. We were one of the first guests to arrive and decided to play a game together as we waited for the party to officially start. Margareta was being her normal self – the normal side we were used to. Then I overheard the birthday boy remark to his mom about Margareta, “She can talk?”

I laughed out loud hearing that. And so did her brothers. Boy…if they only knew.

Even though Margareta LOVED preschool and talked about all the wonderful things there, apparently she was still her shy, quiet as a mouse side while she was there. Even a month or so after that when I was dropping her off, I stood by her side while she told her favorite teacher about what she did during spring break, only to hear another girl remark, “That’s what her voice sounds like?”

I do know that Margareta made friends at preschool. She loved Bianca, and talked about her often. I’m not sure why it took her so long to open up to kids at school. Perhaps it was that most of the kids in her class were slightly older than her. I’ll never know. I just know that I miss my loud, talkative, often outrageous girl who could sometimes appear quiet as a mouse to others.

Submitted by Maria Kubitz in loving memory of her daughter, Margareta Kubitz.